*Winks* Hay!

I hate it when people spell "hey" h-a-y. Hay is for horses, losers! Er... anyway, I got the ads up! It took me a few minutes (okay, like an hour) to figure out what was going on. But, I did it. One thing though, I still can't figure out how to control the content of the ads, so sometimes there's random stuff like "Tattoo Removal", but I looked at the ads a couple times and I think they are mostly based on content within the Blog. I think. Cause I saw a couple about men, then another about Obama. Should I turn the safe filter off? I was kinda worried that the blog might turn into a porn hub or something terrible, but isn't this site already sort of pornographic anyhow? Well, I kept the safe filter on just because.

Another notice: I am thinking of changing the template of the blog, cause I feel all of the stuff is crammed in the middle and there's a lot of margin space that is just being wasted. Sad, I know. There's some way to modify the template, but I don't know how because it's all hard and technical and difficult and I do not want to spend the time to learn. BORING. I'm supposed to be finishing my essay, but.... er... this is more fun! Gah, DBQ due tomorrow! I'll just, uh, do it during WASL. Homework sucks. Like a clingy guy friend, who keeps reminding you of that one time in seventh grade, when you performed certain... favors. He just won't let it go. And you so desperately want to forget. And he keeps bringing it up! And now he wants a repeat performance! What the hell?! Not that I would know what that feels like. Er... I think his name was AJ... or Alex? Anyhow, not important. *sidenote* this story is fictional. I would never post an event in my life such as this. That is all. *end sidenote*


OMG. This just in: Hannah Montana Movie in April!!!! I know I shouldn't be excited, but I am. It's like Broke Back Mountain except with a blond chick and a straight cowboy and... wait, its nothing like Broke Back Mountain! Oops... alright, spontaneous girl moment is DONE.

And to end this lovely post, I must report my daily man sighting: Track guys in shorts... gotta love it. Baseball boys with cups. Soccer guys... well, just soccer guys in general. David Beckham has to be one of the hottest men on the face of this planet. Just google pics of him, and he'll appear semi-nude, even when you would have been content with a shirtless torso. The Internet is a kind mistress. A very, very kind woman. I love the Internet. And David. Mm... David.

Oh, last note, don't you ever let a gay man tell you he doesn't like sports. Because he does. Very much so. All of those sweaty, lean men bouncing balls, scoring goals, wearing under armor. I know nothing about sports, and yet, I can enjoy a good swim meet or two. Speedos have a bad habit or not covering very much. I like bad habits. ;)

Hey Guys...

Hi everyone.

Alright, things are about to get very serious. Incrediably serious.

Very soon, Google will start paying me for posting ads on my blog (I know, I'm selling myself to the big corporation, but it's a step up from prostitution). So, therefore, I'm going to have to start blogging with inhuman frequency so you'll come back to the site as much as possible. So, I'm going to ask the few of you who DO read my blog to add yourselves as Disciples (thanks Anna! You added yourself a long time ago!). That way, whenever I post, you'll get an email notifying you of the post! Hooray! Also, whenver you get a chance, try to advertise my blog to other people! (Albeit, people who can tolerate the content. Telling Schaef to read my blog is NOT a good idea at all.)

Alright, so that's my little spiel! (sp?) I'm going to try REALLY hard to blog alot and about different things, so here we go!

Alright, let me get one thing out of the way (and not many people are going to like this...), but what the hell is up with Obama's popularity? It's like everytime I turn around, somebody is talking about Obama, or saying nice things about Obama, or worshipping their mini-Obama shrines! Seriously, he's just a person. ONE person. If you think about it, just as many people supported BUSH at the beginning of his term. So, what if Obama turns into a giant disappointment just because of all the hype and cult-like praise he's accumulated. Just like Fable 2? Don't even get me started on Fable 2! The creator hyped the game for like three years, constantly blabbing about what a good game it was going to be... so it comes out, and I play it and I was highly, highly, HIGHLY disappointed. It was a good game; it just didn't seem that great because it didn't really live up to the expectations the guy set for it. Major points go to homosexual realtions: you could have sex with a guy... and be a guy yourself! That part, I really, really, really like. You could tell people's sexual orientation just by looking at them, and most people were bisexual. *sigh* why can't real life be like that?

Oh, have I talked about Sgt. Forge from Halo Wars? He's hot. Like, not cute, not adorable, not pretty. But hot like, f*ck-me-till-I'm-raw-hot-then-f*ck me-some-more hot. He's a man's man. I like him. Very much so.

I submitted an "I saw you" earlier and I hope that it gets in. REad the school paper and see if you can tell which one is mine! It should be kinda obvious, but you know...

I tried messing with the "Hot Guy of the Week" thing, but it wasn't working out. The pictures end up being really small and you can't see any of the good parts!

Gotta go. XBOX is calling my name... it says "Russell... Russell... hot men from across the earth want to play with you..." That's what I hear anyhow.

On a side note: VIDEO GAMES

Hello! I know, its been forever since I last blogged, but things keep getting in the way... mostly XBOX, but you know, I gotta keep my priorities straight and everthing! My life has been completely changed by Xbox live, and I have to physically restrain myself from palying when I should be doing my homework, or something as important as homework... or eating...

Anyways, online pay is really fun, but sometimes, the stuff people say (usually, it's boys. No surprise there.) is really gross and awful. And some of their gamertags (usernames) are incredibaly crude. For example:

xxxballz deepxxx: Hey, we're gonna fuck blue team up!

azZ r@pp3r6969: Yeah, we're gonna fuck the shit out of them!

ballz: I'm gonna fuck 'em so hard they'll bleed from the ass!

azZ: I'll hold 'em down and we'll take turns!

Anyways, this is just a short excerpt of the lovely rants I hear occasionally. Usually, people are nice, but then you hear people like this and its like... umm, seriously, maybe you should talk to someone about your violent sexual fantasies... maybe a doctor? Ane these are all teenage boys with their scratchy voices and gross man/boy giggles and everything. And they are completely shameless in the their use of the word "faggot". It comes up at least every other sentence. And then, when some people hear my voice over the mic, they think its funny to make fun of what a homo I am. This is a direct quote from me, while playing Halo in front of my parents:

Homophobic teenage boy: Dude, did you hear him? He's so gay!
Me: Yes, yes I am.
HTB: Dude, that means you like it up the ass!
Me: Yes, yes I do.
HTB: Gross, why do people like you even play Halo? Homos can't play video games!

(In game, I proced to kick his ass with a flamboyant and dextrous wave of a rocket launcher...)

Me: Hm. I guess that means you are the gayest person here, seeing as you came in last.
HTB: I didn't want to make you cry, faggot.
Me: Since you're so gay, can I ask you something?
HTB: Whatver, homo.
Me: You got a nice, big mouth on you, huh. Why don't you come over here and use it?
HTB:... uh... uh... *static on mic*
-Homophobic Teenage Boy left your game-
My mom: I can't believe you just said that...
My step dad: Why? The stupid kid deserved it.

I love Xbox live. Except, I will admit this: gays have a bad habit of sucking HARD at Halo. I was playing once with a guy that was REALLY gay, and he had negative points at the end of the game. And people were making fun of him, and I was like "Don't make fun of him cause he's gay; mke fun of him because he sucks!" The gay called me a traitor. I called him a n00b. So whatever.
I like playing with girls online cause when they lose, htey dont do "Oh, what the fuck! That's bullshit!" And when they win they don't say things like "I choked you with my massive cock!" or similiar obscenities. *sighs* I don't even know why I like boys. They're so stupid.

And so hot.

Oh my god, saw a cop in Target yesterday. I would've done him right then, right there. Okay, not right THERE, but you know, in his cop car... with handcuffs. Er... moving on...

Video games are so expensive. And so time consuming! It's like, "whoops, I've already played this game for fourteen hours and I got it yesterday..."

I tried to think of more hot video game guys, but I can't seem to think of any I haven't mentioned... have I mentioned the Prince of Persia? Geez, what a babe! All tan and golden and yummy and manly... mm... Axel from Final fantasy... mm, what a man! He's all buff and rugged and bad ass. He's a bad guy, but who cares? He's hot! And Carth Onasi from KOTOR! Mm... his voice actor sounds so hot. And he's all emotionally distraught because he lost his wife... that's the best time to strike you know, when they're sad and vulnerable! I mean, never take advantage of people! It's "wrong"! *cough*

Anyways, going to REAL men... bah, I have no time for real men! they have stoic emotions and are diffucult to figure out! I like video games... I can play with them however I want!

Alright, Alright...

Alright guys I know I said that I would post sooner this week, and I know that I haven't... so I'll TRY to do it this week on one of the final days cause they're all like hald days and what not... so I will attempt to do that. I have LOTS to talk about, I just can't find the motivation to get online and do stuff, cause I'm sorta tryiong to do all of my homework and stuff. WEll, I could post this thing I'm doing for English. WE were supposed to make an "ad Absurdum" arguement for Enlgish, so I wrote a sort of twisted Adam/Eve crossover to Romeo and Juliet, except things don't really work out the way you think its going to... here it is!

Two young teenagers sat silently in a dim café, watching the melancholy moon rise into the twilight sky. There was a girl and a boy, both with downcast expressions and wistful eyes. At frequent intervals, they would glance towards one another, and then quickly divert their gazes, as if they suddenly found a crack on the wall or some gum on the floor inexplicably interesting. The girl delicately lifted a small cup to her pursed lips and sipped quietly at her coffee, then just as gently replaced the cup to its original position. She cleared her throat,
“Hey Adam.” The boy looked up at her. “This really sucks. I thought we went so well together…” she said. Her voice was almost inaudible despite the unnerving quiet. The boy nodded in agreement,
“Yeah, me too,” he said. “But Eve… no one wants us to be together…” he added. “My parents don’t want us hanging out anymore. They said that you’re a bad influence on me.” Eve smiled sadly,
“That’s what my parents told me. I guess I should thank them, though. They’ve kept our relationship a total secret.” She said.
“Mine too. They’ve kept it real hushed up.” Adam sighed and was silent for a moment. Then he said “But it’s not just them. All of my friends say the same kinda stuff. My best friend told me that you’re ‘bad candy’ or something like that.”
“I got that too. They all told me that you’re no good, and that I can do so much better and that I shouldn’t settle for someone like you.” She drew a deep breath, and then continued speaking, “Maybe they’re right.” She looked into Adam’s eyes for a moment, and then closed her eyes. “Maybe we just don’t belong together.” Adam reached to take her hand, and then recoiled.
“Yeah… Since everyone else thinks so, maybe we shouldn’t be together.” He said ruefully. “But at least we had some good times together.” He broke into a grin, and Eve smiled back.
“Yes. Old Lady Hilda’s pumpkin patch will never be the same…” she laughed.
“Or that photo booth in the mall. I almost feel bad for what we did in there.” Adam sighed again. “But that was then. It’s time for us to move on…” He stood up, and Eve rose as well. Together, they moved towards the exit, but paused momentously at the door.
“I’ll miss you…” Adam whispered.
“Me too…” Eve whispered back. They embraced for a long minute. As they pulled apart, a tall man who had been sitting at a table on the opposite side of the café approached them.
“Excuse me, but I couldn’t but help overhearing your conversation.” He said politely. “Am I correct in thinking that you two are thinking of separating?” Adam shrugged noncommittally,
“Yeah, I guess.” He said stoically.
“And pardon me for prying, but why would you do that? You two obviously have an affinity for one another.” Eve traced a small circle on the floor with the toe of her shoe,
“Well, no one else thinks we should be together…” She said shyly. The stranger threw his hands up,
“Ah, but who cares what others say!” he exclaimed, “What does the opinion of others matter to you? If destiny has led you to one another, who is to say you don’t belong together?” he smiled kindly and nodded. Eve shook her head,
“I don’t know…” she hesitated, “Everyone else says we shouldn’t be around each other anymore…”
“Hey, but maybe this stranger is right!” Adam interjected, “The only real thing that matters is how WE feel about each other!” Eve locked eyes with Adam,
“You really think so?” she asked. The stranger laughed good-naturedly,
“I don’t know. That’s up to you.” He said to Eve. She looked at the stranger, then at Adam and thought for a moment. Then, she smiled,
“I want to be with Adam. He’s the only one who understands me.” Adam beamed and embraced Eve tightly.
“Thanks, stranger!” he said jovially, “Thanks for opening my eyes. Come on Eve, let’s go.” Eve nodded and glanced at the stranger.
“Thank you, sir.” She said demurely. The pair left and the stranger returned to his table with a contented sigh.

About ten minutes after the departure of Adam and Eve, the café’s owner steps through the door. He looked to spot where Adam and Eve had resided and jerked his head towards the stranger.
“Good. About time those kids split up. They were no good together.” He grunted. The stranger smiled,
“Oh, those two? They left together.” The storeowner’s eyes widened,
“WHAT?!” he almost screamed, “But they were so close to breaking up!” He saw the grin on the stranger’s face and his eyes narrowed, “What did you do?” he growled threateningly. The stranger shrugged nonchalantly,
“Oh, I just gave them some helpful advice. It’s such a shame that everyone here was discouraging their little love affair…” The storeowner broke out into harsh laughter,
“Love affair?” he chuckled, “You thought those two were in love? They were criminals! Apart, they were just good, normal kids. But put them together, and man… it’s just asking for trouble.” The stranger’s face fell completely,
“Cr-criminals? But… but I thought…” he stuttered.
“Yeah, they were trouble makers. Took all of Hilda’s pumpkins and lit a huge bon fire in the middle of her garden and roasted them all.” The storeowner said.
“WHAT?!” The stranger cried out.
“Yep. And there was a photo booth that they vandalized pretty bad too. There was a whole slew of things those kids did…” The storeowner shook his head and faced the stranger,
“And this one time…” he started, but the stranger had already left, dashing towards a ruddy glow emanating from the center of town.

Tell me what you think of it!

Yo Comments Are Whack!

Oh my god, this is so cool! Finally someone speaks out against crap comments! I hate it when people write stupid shit on YouTube, and I'm like, "If you're gonna call me a 'faggot', at least spell it correctly! I see so many people who spell it 'fagot' and I'm like, at least I'm not a illiterate douche bag like you!

Oh, and Rhiannon, I don't know what your friends are talking about, but the Sailor Moon I watch definitely doesnt't have porn.

My fave part of this video was at 1:45! The girl's face is so funny!
"Every other word is *bleep!* baby, or *bleep bleep!*" Loved this.

WOWOW

Alright, two new posts, two new polls, so make sure you see everything!!

I worked late and hard (like all men should... ermh...) on this so you better like it! Comment, or at least talk to me at school about it!